At the boarding gate while awaiting a flight somewhere new, someplace different yet familiar, I want to freeze time. I want to be in the moment for as long as possible. I want to savour the mystery, to visualize my highest dream of the adventure to come. Sublime.
I crave this moment just before I venture on a flight to a known or unknown place. It is one of my favourite times. I savour the moments spent at the boarding gate.
I am consciously aware of being present to all the sensations around me. I am excited. I feel my heart beating rhythmically in tune with the sounds of chatter around me. I notice a child turning his face upward to his mother, pleading to go to the gift shop to get candy or a cool toy. I hear broadcasts of flight arrivals, departures. I breath it all in. I feel a paradoxical desire to stay and dream, and to go and begin my journey. It is a journey indeed.
In my experience, once I board, I am on a journey of change that impacts my identity in paradoxical ways. I am subtly and profoundly changed. Once on the flight and after I arrive, time literally flies. I sadly realize that I lose that focus on the present moment. Even with repeated practice, I am vulnerable to the sweep of the tide, the ‘doing’ that follows landing. In this moment, I crave the ‘doing’ and the ‘being’ in the journey ahead.
I am at a virtual boarding gate right now. It’s the boarding gate of a shifting identity. Years in the making and somehow familiar. It is as though I am returning home to a place, a me, I’ve always been. There is a voice inside me that is mine and yet not mine. It is channeling through me. I close my eyes and remind myself: “Be present. Breathe slowly. Notice. Look, see. Listen, hear. Touch, feel. Smell, sense. Taste, savour. Breathe slowly.” I have yet to begin. I savour the moment. I repeat the mantra: “Be present. Breathe slowly, Notice…”
I awaken to the calls to board. It’s time to go. I resist. I am standing at the edge of change. I repeat my mantra. I breathe in.
Ok. I’m ready. I cross the edge. I board the flight to an expanded identity, the part of me that was born with me. It’s the identity that shows up when I write, speak publicly and create. In spiritual teachings and practices we are taught that this voice is: “In me. As me. Through me.” It’s a voice that utters with deep self-assurance the knowledge, learning and wisdom that is greater than me. It’s the voice of relationship, it is the voice of the system.
I am most at peace in this identity that is me, as me, through me. In this moment of expressing this shift in my identity, I feel challenged and yet at home with the feeling. The challenge melts away with the feeling of focus, being alert, clear and present. Here, I am present to all that is around and in me, all the signals that I breathe in and out, deeply. I see limitless possibilities. I hear words of inspiration. I feel influential. I smell genius. I taste joy. I am simultaneously at the boarding gate, on an adventure and at home. At the Boarding Gate. Sublime.